Completely dependant

I’ve just been listening to one of the sermons from Maybridge Community Church – the Church in Worthing in which I grew up. Andy was talking about John 17 where we have a window in Jesus’ relationship with his Father as we hear his prayer. How can we live having the same intimacy with God that Jesus did? ‘Trust him more’ is one answer, but how can we actually do that? Andy points out that one aspect of that is to challenge our habits and culture of ownership.

‘For everything I have is yours’. Do I live and recognise the fact that everything I have belongs to God? If I have ownership of anything, then I am not being completely dependent on God. In today’s culture, there’s such a stigma about being dependent – people associate it with being useless, unable to take care of yourself, being a burden on others. Independence is seen as a pinnacle to reach – to have control and power of your own life, your own finances and your own decisions. It also implies that we have no need of others, and that we can live perfectly ok by ourselves. Actually, I think that devalues community, breaks at the bonds of society and misses the fun and the pleasure of sharing. We should be living in interdependence with other people – where I depend on them and they depend on me. Where my gifts and strengths can fulfil what someone else needs, and my weaknesses can be covered by what somebody else has. I think all of us do like to be able to do something for others – I’m always happy to babysit for example and give people a chance to go out. But if we are trying to be sufficient and independent it means that we then struggle to accept other people doing things for us, and our pride can get in the way of enjoying something that is willingly given. Generally, I’d say that I don’t have too much of a problem with that – during the past couple of years I have not been financially independent (and have been amazed at the provision of money that people have generously given) and relied on other people for transport, food, holidays, support or whatever else. However, I can still pinpoint times, some very recently, when I’ve found it difficult to accept gifts because they seem too valuable for me to repay. My pride and equal give-and-take mentality still insists that I can’t take anything ‘for free’. I wonder how much of that mentality is in Christianity? The whole nature of grace is that it is something freely given, something that we do not deserve and cannot be earned. Yet so many people are trying to live a ‘good life’ in order to pay back something to God because they feel indebted and do not like it. They do not want to be in the powerless position of owing anything to anybody, even God.

The truth is that we do owe everything to God. The fact that I’m alive, the food that I eat, the work that I do, the people that I know, the skills that I use, the ideas that I have. They are all gifts from God. And I want to acknowledge that, and be dependent on God. Interdependent with other people, but completely and utterly dependent on God. There’s nothing that I can do for him that makes him more complete than he already is – he does not need me – but I need him for everything. Therefore, independence in a relationship with God is a complete contradiction as I’d be trying to have a relationship with someone whilst denying one of their essential characteristics; he is my Jehovah Jirah – provider of all things. But this dependence on God is not a burden, it’s not a debt that I have to feel that I need to repay (not that I can!) and it’s not a weakness to feel ashamed of. It’s a recognition of who God is, and who I am, and how God meant for us to live in relationship with him. It’s freedom – there’s no expectations, no worry over performance and no fears over money; I am dependent on God who he is my provider.

I think that one of the areas that I probably find most difficult in knowing that it all belongs to God is in the area of work. Looking back over the past couple of weeks(/years!) I can see that I tend to take on responsibility not just for jobs, but also for the outcome. I believe that me and me alone can do this task properly and that the success or failure for the work is all down to me. Which is pretty egocentric. Yes, I believe that God wants me to take on responsibility and yes, I believe that he wants me to use the skills and intelligence that he’s given me (that’s why he gave them to me). But that does not mean that I should try and take the work out of God’s hands and do it myself! I need to recognise that the work I do is God’s work, that I can do the best I can and that is all I can do and all he wants me to do. It’s in God’s hands when things go wrong and there are problems, and when things are going well God gets the glory! And through it all we can praise and trust and worship him because he is always worth it.

So there’s a challenge. To recognise that I don’t have ownership of anything – not my money, my time, my work or my things – and that I am a dependant on the One who is the Creator of all things. Who else could I depend on?!