4 months in

I’ve now been in Congo for 4 months, having left the UK on March 20th. It’s been good, it’s been interesting, it’s been difficult, it’s been rewarding, it’s been tiring – I am glad that I am here.

I was thinking about how the last few months have been gone, and have started writing my thoughts. Hopefully I’ll be able to continue with ‘Things that have made me laugh’, ‘Things that I’ve learned’ etc. as well!

Things that have frustrated me
Communication has been one of the most frustrating things. It’s difficult to get in touch with the other international support staff – if we both even have phone signal than one or other of us is in meetings, have other priorities or they’re busy at one of the other project sites. Then there’s misunderstandings, different agendas, different timescales, emails not being delivered properly, documents being sent late because it’s difficult to transport them and lots of other things that make life more challenging for all of us. The support staff are there to support, but it can sometimes feel that they just make things more complicated – we need to make a quick decision and they’re not available, so we either go ahead and make a decision (and then don’t benefit from their advice and/or risk annoying them) or we hold-up the project which has already been delayed from this-or-that. In return, they have responsibility to make sure that things are done properly, but project sites are late at planning, don’t inform them of things that they need to know, expect them to be at their immediate disposal and don’t allow them to fulfil their jobs properly! We’re all aware of these difficulties, and try to help each other but the demands of the work doesn’t make it any easier.

Occasionally, I have communication difficulties with Benoit, which tend to be from misunderstandings arising from language. Benoit’s very good at English (certainly better than my French!) but he’s not perfect. So he says or explains something, I clarify and it all seems to be clear. Then 5 minutes / 1 day / 2 weeks / 1 month later I notice Benoit saying or doing something contrary to what he had previously said. Once or twice this has been due to a change of plans that I wasn’t aware of, but sometimes Benoit says that he’s never said anything different. But I distinctly remember him stating something different and then get very confused! We think that in those cases Benoit’s never *meant* anything different, but the words used to express that result in me understanding something different. We’ve also had times when we’ve meant exactly the same thing but think the other is disagreeing with us because of how we’re expressing it – fortunately we tend to discover that if we talk a bit more. Hopefully, if I get better at French we can use two languages to cross-check meanings – as opposed to having two languages to get confused in! However, it’s great example of ‘listen to what the other person is trying to say and not what they’re actually saying’. And to be patient whilst doing so!

Another thing that frustrates me slightly is the lack of authority I have. As a Project Support Officer (and as a volunteer), this year is for learning and therefore I don’t (officially) have any responsibility. Whilst I can understand that, it’s also quite annoying as sometimes it can feel like it blocks me from doing my job. For example, Benoit’s asked me to check some budget lines which involves finance in Bukavu, but they won’t respond to my requests (even if Benoit’s copied in and in agreement) because I’m not the budget holder. That stops me from getting on and checking/sorting even small issues and it has to wait for Benoit who’s busy enough already. It then feels that I’m not able to properly help Benoit and take some of the huge workload off his shoulders. We’ve discussed this particular issue, and have now hopefully come up with a process that everyone’s happy with. Another time I’ve felt limited by my lack of authority to sign off requisitions – every purchase has to be signed off (normally three times, once on the requisition, once for the cash advance and once after the expenditure) and this can only be done by Benoit. So one Saturday afternoon, Benoit’s asleep, we’ve run out of water and the Cook has come to me with a request to buy some more. I can’t sign it, I’m not going to wake up Benoit and I’m getting thirsty. So I have to give her my own money. Again, I understand the processes and the reasons for them but I find it somewhat frustrating that I can’t even give permission for someone to buy water. The funny thing is that when Benoit’s away, I’m acting-AC and suddenly my level of authority increases dramatically! However, the responsibility level does as well – as PSO I have no authority but freedom from responsibility. As AC (either to a certain level now whilst acting-AC or in the future) I’ll have freedom to do stuff but will also have the responsibility that goes with it. I remember Margaret Atwood talking about ‘freedom to and freedom from’ in her book ‘The Handmaid’s tale’ (which is one of the only books that I’ve enjoyed more after studying it) and liking the distinction. As time goes on, I think I’ll start chafing at the restrictions and be ready and wanting to take on more responsibility. However, at the moment, with my current level of experience, I think I’m happier as PSO - without the responsibility or the authority!

Things that have shocked me
This would have to be some of the attitudes of the national staff, and of the culture as a whole. How things that I see as dishonest or unbelievable are normal here. People threatening legal action in response to a standard, contractual, necessary procedure. People taking whatever opportunity they can to hold back money for themselves. People wanting to gossip, spread rumours and destroy the reputations of others. Maybe these things are endemic the world over, and I haven’t been exposed to them before on such an endemic basis. Maybe I’ve grown up in an environment where there are enough checks, balances and social norms that curtail their existence. It’s shocking, but the most shocking thing is how normal it is.